Many Years Ago

uniform, cradled desire

transfigurative deceptive, reliance

who do you see when you stroke the night and wish upon her that all is to be 'well'

a glass chalice glistened under my palm said that I could stare into your heart

as motions kiss beckons on my lips she who called upon me

back in the wind of my grace I see I fell unto you

when time rolled and transcended mirrored ghosts 

give you say, be freed from the anxieties of your awakened existence

move forth into the battle zone, paced not for war but for joy

I'm sat here alone surrounded by a brilliant white light a love so bright

is it time to go but no I sit here not to see the day end but feel a rapture

could it have lasted an eternity?

friendship, family does not dwell on the lips it suffers in the gullet



Ambitious Endeavors

Welcome to this post about my ambitious yet probably under researched future! Should I spill out my internal organs, hope and life goals to you all? No. Should I share some of my goals with you, and my recent works in the hope you will reciprocate this to me and we can then bask in our own solemn glory? Yes.

It’s always a no, yes game until you find out what you really wanted all along. Perhaps it is okay to be that person sat in the café alone, writing notes, reading and thinking about how you can better materialise your dreams of being a star writer. Cafe’s are public places akin to a pub (public house) so no shame in crafting a story here. Same with libraries, never be afraid of sitting in a library to write. We all have those thoughts that keep up back from performing at our best. When we finally face them we realise something, that they cannot harm us.

Waking at 6am to write for a couple hours or to crank out a couple thousand words a day is good. I talk about schedules and dedication but at the end of your day, you should feel satisfied with your work rather than feeling like you’ve not done enough. Taking breaks are good things, like sitting on your butt at midnight to work through a scene which made no sense until now.

Ambitious is my middle name, writing potential garbage is the game.

— Some loose tongued writer

May I take a moment to say this: if you write, you are a writer! Any style, and platform and any genre. Granted I do like to see dedication and quality in writers, like abiding by the rules and such. What I want to achieve is freedom of expression, not to say to everyone who writes; “hey you can be a writer, just write something, anything.” The reality here focuses on creative writing, fiction writing, those writing novellas, full length novel stories.

I also want to share a new story with you. Yeah yeah, you’ve heard about Beach Town: Survivors a bazillion times since the end of May, but I like the story and will be happy to see it available for people to read (free to read btw). But I managed to finally start a story I’ve been wanting to write for some time, sadly though – and I kindly ask you not to laugh at this – I was genuinely too terrified to begin to write it, for multiple reasons.

It’s horror with supernatural elements. It is a horror story and the bad creatures in it are vampires which I do not like because they scare me. Well, I decided to move onto this as the next novella since it needs writing sooner or later. I’ve already made a cover, which of course may change. No idea when it will be available or if I will release but pretty sure I can write it over the next month. It’s slightly more terrifying than my average horror story, the vamps have small wings, they can levitate and have dark robes. A part of me might not write this. I will definitely absorb you all into the process when I can be bothered, not quite ready to drop the cover yet.

International Tea Day ’22

When do we want it? Now! When do we want it? Now! International Tea Day has graced us with the free pass to divulge in tea all day in honour of this wonderful experience. If you are as British as me, then you will totally know what I mean when I say “let’s have tea.”

Truly though, the world has gone mad. Once upon a time there was a brilliant genius somewhere lost in time, who decided that tea was worth the labour. It is indeed a labour of love to grow and brew and drink tea. Black tea, English tea, Chinese tea, chamomile, green, chai, honey, elderberry, herbal varieties galore and good old fashioned Yorkshire Tea.

I like to drink elderberry and echinacea when I am feeling under the weather and teas like lemon, ginger and manuka honey. I recommend Pukka for the best variety although I’ve tried other brands like Twining’s. There are so many brands offering unique teas. You can also buy it loose, or bagged. To be environmentally friendly it makes sense to get loose tea leaves.

Tea

Boil, brew and chew it

sip, clink spoon, and drink

settle, relieve metal and digest

Psychonaut

What say you, might psychonautus?

Choose to be a good person out of the reality that is your true nature, an intelligent and loving being created by God. ~ Wizard

I see that the man with all the pennies is now buying about twenty acres of land. I also noticed he had got rid of his old cat. That is a shame, but I suspect the cat was beginning to use his audio device to listen to the old man’s neighbours. That isn’t an unfounded allegation by the way, I saw that cat out in the streets, talking spy language with other cats. Anyway, there is the possibility the cat was sent to defector prison. What say you, you beautiful human? “Meow.” Okay fair enough, ciao. Cat chowder.

Author Spotlight #4 Angela Suttner

Angela Suttner took the time to discuss her writing with me and how she wanted to raise awareness of such an important topic: bullying. I was excited to hear about her writing journey and what it meant to her as she had a unique story to tell. I’m sure you will all enjoy reading as much as I did.


Hi, my name is Angela Suttner, I’m 44 years old, a wife for almost 24 years and the mother of four wonderful sons. I grew up in a very small town ( pop 300) so creativity as a kid was a must to have fun!

My husband and I raise our children in the outskirts of a small river town, where we still reside. I love nature, animals and I have an obsession with weather. I’m one of those people who would love to go on a tornado chase!

I’m also a bereaved parent of five years & (almost) 5 months since we lost our second born son, Kenny. I now spend my time raising awareness and prevention against bullying and suicide ( bullycide). My hope is to help anyone who is dealing with bullying or knows of someone who is. To honor our son by saving a life, that is my ultimate goal.

Where do you live?

I live in a small river town, Glasgow, Missouri.

Why are you a writer?

As a young girl I wrote stories and poems a lot. Instead of a journal or diary, I expressed my feelings through creative writing.

I co-wrote this book to honour my son and I wanted his story told to help others. There are so many articles about my son available but I felt like Kenny, who he was, was never really talked about much. So I decided to write Kenny’s book! Kenny’s story needed to be told!

What do you enjoy about writing?

Writing is freeing in many ways for me!

Writing for me is like sitting with an old friend and just purging all that’s stirring in my mind. Writing has been a major outlet for me while struggling with the grief of losing my son.

Tell us about your most recent works

The book that I co-wrote with my dear friend Lindsay Schraad, Where The Trail Ends: The Kenny Suttner Story, was released October, 2020.

Telling my son’s story was extremely difficult and some days I wasn’t sure I would be able to complete it, but I knew in my heart I needed to accomplish this goal for Kenny, myself and with so much hope of helping others.

I also maintain a blog post. There I talk about day to day struggles with loss, grief and bullying /suicide.

If you could write a book in a new genre, which would you choose?

Supernatural

Do you have any role models or people who inspired you to write?

My biggest supporter who inspired me to share my writing with the world is my co-author, Lindsay Schraad. Without her I would have never had the courage to share my son with the world!

Are you working on anything at the moment?

I am, I have a good start on a new project about the paranormal and hauntings based mostly on my own past experiences.

Where can people buy your books?

Where The Trail Ends: The Kenny Suttner Story, is available on Amazon, paperback and kindle.

What advice would you give to an aspiring writer?

My advice would be to just keep writing.. I know I had days when I doubted myself, questioned whether or not our book would be well received. But I can honestly say that once the book was released the sense of relief was amazing. Accomplishing something I set my mind on was an award in itself.

My hope is that Where The Trail Ends: The Kenny Suttner Story ends up in the hands of those who need to know they are not alone.

Where the Trail Ends: The Kenny Suttner Story https://www.amazon.com/dp/B08M2HBCYT/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_6WYTAPZYAFDEZWPN4K1B

Angela was happy to be a part of this interview and I thank her for her time. I am so grateful that we have authors who are raising awareness for important issues, because we need that now more than ever. You will enjoy her book and I encourage you to support this. Thank you for reading and as usual have a wonderful day.

Sand in My Eyes

Now we were not always like a ring fitting so comfortably on anothers finger

or a sun shining through clouds on a mild spring day

there were echoes of your pain inflicted onto me

my intentions pure and like honey

you stole my honey and you drained my will

just so you could take a big paper payment 'bill'

money always meant more to you

and I was feeling

because what I felt was real, even if you didn't

seeing that you are a deliberate choke

imagining that you had the killing joke

but my heart had to overcome your deceit

know this you sugar coated thorn bush

even with the threat of death, I would not have succumbed to this

even with God not answering my calls, I would not have ever fallen

you know the damage and you left it unfinished

apologies that flew like pigs

a hand that I knew, hid in the mist

I'm not crying, I have sand in my eyes.


Please consider reading ‘Your Eyes’ published in 2020.


If by Rudyard Kipling (really inspirational)

If you can keep your head when all about you   

    Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,   

If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,

    But make allowance for their doubting too;   

If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,

    Or being lied about, don’t deal in lies,

Or being hated, don’t give way to hating,

    And yet don’t look too good, nor talk too wise:

If you can dream—and not make dreams your master;   

    If you can think—and not make thoughts your aim;   

If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster

    And treat those two impostors just the same;   

If you can bear to hear the truth you’ve spoken

    Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,

Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,

    And stoop and build ’em up with worn-out tools:

If you can make one heap of all your winnings

    And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,

And lose, and start again at your beginnings

    And never breathe a word about your loss;

If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew

    To serve your turn long after they are gone,   

And so hold on when there is nothing in you

    Except the Will which says to them: ‘Hold on!’

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,   

    Or walk with Kings—nor lose the common touch,

If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,

    If all men count with you, but none too much;

If you can fill the unforgiving minute

    With sixty seconds’ worth of distance run,   

Yours is the Earth and everything that’s in it,   

    And—which is more—you’ll be a Man, my son!

Child Abuse ~ Hard Silence

A single moment in a child life can cast a shadow that will stay a lifetime. Child abuse is an often quiet, silent abuse in which the children are often ignored and very frequently gaslighted. The children may be labelled liars, which is to diminish instantly anything they say.

Let me state my position on this awful and yet somehow ongoing issues in the modern world. Anyone calling a child a liar should automatically be registered on a watch dog type register with government. Then, they should be investigated using social workers. If it transpires that they are telling the truth, which I find hard to believe, then of course move on. But keep them on the register and provide support to the children. Because as the case may be, the child is all too afraid to speak out. Also, why would it be better to believe the adult? I have never met a child that lies, consistently. The occasional lie I can understand, it is part of natural development for a child to lie to understand if it is wrong.

Then the fear element is engaged. Abused children wouldn’t be instantly taken from abusive parents if an allegation is made, as far as I am aware. ‘Authorities’ get involved and this can take some time. Perhaps if there is instant support and the child is removed, that would help. I have yet to see this happen myself, although it probably is, but not frequently.

https://www.penngroup.co.uk/post/family-law-the-need-to-investigate-abuse-and-remove-children-from-the-risk-of-harm

It is still rampant and although the media has shoved articles and news down our throats about abusive relationships, domestic abuse to women, and abusive partners, during lockdown… it failed to mention child abuse. Do you think a woman is the only abused person in a house with children? Do you think the real issue was child abuse as opposed to abuse of women? Are you seriously telling me that during the lockdown in which schools, day care and others were shut that absolutely no children suffered abuse of any kind? Give me a break. It is under reported and hidden away because if people really knew how common this crime was then they might think differently about ‘lovely society’ or those abusive parents at school they met. Schools are an issue in themselves, often not caring as much as they claim. When cases of abuse are exposed the usual line of programming is ‘they are shocked and will work to make sure this never happens again.’ Rhetoric. If they did something, child abuse would have ceased hundred of years ago.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-55682745

https://www.msn.com/en-gb/news/uknews/mother-stepfather-and-boy-14-found-guilty-of-murdering-five-year-old-logan-mwangi/ar-AAWsazX?ocid=msedgntp&cvid=bbcfcaea832647bcb57b6aad1cebb8a9

Having experienced child abuse, these children can often go on to use drugs and alcohol and develop mental health issues such as depression and anxiety. It might lead to more serious conditions like disassociation disorders – where the pain is too much so they disconnect from the body. In that situation, you might wonder how on earth they could ever get help if they can’t even remember the abuse. Those are the most serious cases, sadly I have read about them. It results in post traumatic stress disorder {PTSD} which can further impact a child. Flashbacks and feelings of reliving the events will seriously impact them. It does not matter how long it goes on, but that it will impact them for the rest of their lives. They can use coping mechanisms and may need medication to help. It impacts their wellbeing, sense of self and lot of people commit suicide because of the abuse. Many adults who experienced abuse as children may avoid talking about it or become very distressed or upset when asked about it.

The child has low self-esteem from the abuse. If it revolves around mental abuse, they will grow up with distorted perceptions of themselves, often not having confidence, feeling like they are not good enough or having emotional and relationship issues which might mean they prefer to stay alone. A hard silence they endure. If everyone spoke about the abuse they suffered, and I suspect it is very common, then it would be more than 1,000,000 people I suspect. Although the law prevents people from physically attacking people, it does not criminalise physical punishment on children. What this means is that, they can in fact physically hurt them and class it as ‘punishment’ for bad behaviour. Look at the article below.

https://www.thesun.co.uk/news/18327204/parents-could-face-five-years-in-jail-smack-kids/

I am not surprised that it is not law already. Can you believe people oppose this? They think punishment should be left to parents. Well, I have news for you, delusional political statues, any form of violence – mental and physical – is abuse and is disgusting. What you are really doing by opposing it, is saying quite obviously that you condone that behaviour. Do you realise what is being done to these children? Do you think slapping a 4 year old child across the face is acceptable? You might want to keep the dangerous cycle of child abuse in society, but I don’t.

What do you think? If I ever see someone hit a child, and yes it is more common than you think especially in public {disgusting} then I will and do speak out against it I would encourage you all to consider taking a stand if you see it.


Thanks for reading. If you enjoyed this post then please like, comment and follow my blog for more creative and brilliant content.

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Don’t Be Afraid.

Welcome to Psychedelic Wizard. This is a welcoming environment where you can openly criticise and reflect without fear of persecution.

I’ve gained followers, and I’ve lost followers, which can be disheartening. It makes me wonder if I did something wrong, or if I over did my posting. I don’t intend to bombard you, rather, to post a sufficient amount of content that I like to post and which I enjoy making, and which can be reached by enough people to potentially create a bigger following. So, losing followers although sad is understandable, if the values are not in alignment anymore. What I mean by that is the people unfollowing are not feeling the site energy anymore or perhaps are fed up and not interested. I always appreciate on-going support and want you to know that. I am grateful for the audience on WordPress. Some of you have been liking, commenting and more for many years. I just hope that I have an audience in the future.

I do get disheartened when I see other blogs with thousands of followers, who probably got that in a lot less time than I even got to 500. I have tried to post consistent content for a few years now, but somehow my post counter doesn’t even seem to be close to what it should be. There are occasional glitches in WordPress sites, such as some appearing ‘unsafe’ or ‘virus ridden’ even though they are not. I suspect the content on the sites are a factor, and have been classified as dangerous because of that. I have struggled to access certain blogs from time to time because of this issue.

But it brings me happiness to see long-term bloggers who are still contributing and putting effort into their amazing blogs. I love to read them and explore new sites and topics. It always amazes me how little they expect in return. I won’t name anybody but I am so happy to be following a few blogs which have been motivational and inspirational for many years that I have been reading. You may know who you are!

My Wattpad story: https://www.wattpad.com/story/307873965-discovery-avenue


POEM called Don’t Be Afraid. It is about the uncertainty and doubt that can create issues in our lives. Ultimately, having the courage to move forward, to triumph over the unknown. My other post Into The Tunnels is also about that bravery, in different circumstances

I was a child who was afraid to look under the bed once
there were men who used to say the most harsh things to women
life was a bubble that we all wanted to burst
everyone had to quench the fear of their thirst
or their last breath that they gave
as the doors were crushed
halo of gold dust that fluttered beside me
seeing the way
and creating no barrier
a sea that is devoid of anger
replaced with content

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Discovery Avenue – Part 1 & 2 (Romance Fiction)

Welcome to Psychedelic Wizard.

I have just created a Wattpad account, because apparently you can write and publish stories on the site. I was a little wary of this since it could potentially be unsafe as there is no protection. But the site says that work published is protected. So, I decided to start publishing a romance story on there.

I don’t usually write romance but the story seems interesting. It is a part of a story I have just started writing, however it is a story of events which took place before the current story I am writing. So, a sort of prequel. I have not mentioned this on Wattpad as I want to see if it is liked by people and to develop a story on the platform, essentially giving it a try.

The story is called Discovery Avenue

‘Peter is on an all night drinking marathon, until he gets into the mood for sex. The only problem? His girlfriend is at home in bed, waiting for him. Will he continue on this dark night looking for an encounter, or will he go home?

This is his story of a sexually charged night looking for an affair or romance. Will his discover love or lust or will it be danger for him?’

https://www.wattpad.com/story/307873965-discovery-avenue

https://www.wattpad.com/1215543060-discovery-avenue-she%27s-asleep-part-2

Above is the link to the first and second part of the story, which is mature, as is this story. I would encourage anyone who likes reading my posts or short stories to check it out and if you like and comment on Wattpad it tells me that I should continue with the story. Ultimately what it is about is a man changing for the worse, coming to realise what he should not have taken for granted, coming to accept himself and essentially a loving ending, or so we hope. There will be dark scenes and there will be black mirrors so anyone not prepared to look into the dark soul should not read it. I hope you enjoy following the story as it progresses. I intend to write a passage every day at least. They will be short as to keep people interested. Part 1 is called ‘uncomfortable dinners’. I have no idea where this will go and I don’t really hope for any kind of professional interest, it really is a vanity project, but one that I would love to explore and write nonetheless.

Aside from that thank you for checking out this post!

Love is on my side

Masculine power, upright tower

your moans of humiliation are no roadblock

on the path of the brave

the soldiers and the knowledge seekers

you don't spit on my tombstone

I see the mirror image of ice translucent memory

love is on my side

I have seen all that there is to see, on the sinside

when the thunder comes raging

and bolts of electric shoot through spring air

you have the air in the ere

grooving night scene

mass multitude machine

you are the barrier beyond the fold

fake Gucci handbags and laced down bottom ups

sounds like a load of quarks