Burgers are Sluts

She sits opposite me in this leather booth. The restaurant is fairly busy, waiters and waitresses flock from table to table, taking orders, delivering drinks and food and gossiping about social media nonsense. I daren’t reveal to this brunette bombshell that I am vegan, after she took the leap to tell me on the way here. “I’m vegan,” she had said. I didn’t want to share my intimate life details or let her feel some connection, because honestly, the whole date was a big set up. I’d agreed to this after being paired with this lady by a friend. Yeah, she was okay, she chatted a lot about family and decided to tell me about her recently holiday with her ‘girlfriends.’ Not that I was bothered though.

But… the waiter came over and I knew there was no way for me to hide my diet preference, and that was all it was, a way to stay slim and healthy. I don’t care about animal activism. I’d rather let her do all the talking, but I have to throw in the occasional question to sound interested. “Been there before?” She’s forgotten her own holiday already, and she talked about it for like 20 minutes. The waiter hovers over our table, pen on his pad. After viewing the menu, seeing the little choice there was for vegans, I decided to brave it.

“Yeah loads of times,” she finally responds, blushing and batting her eyelids. Damn, this woman is really into me and we’ve known each other for about an hour or two. Essentially a blind date. I give her the silent credit, she is busty, slim and tall. Her wit is questionable, after telling me I look like Colin Farrell. I look nothing like him and was born in Brighton to a mother who worked in a factory and alcoholic father who beat me as a child after his drunken nights out. Maybe being a Colin lookalike was the career change I needed. She glances to the menu and looks to the waiter, he’s young, probably early twenties and for some reason looking down her bra. Kid, take the order and **** off.

“I’ll have the vegan burger,” she says.

“Fries or onion rings?” he asks, smiling. Little jerk is jerking me around, can he not see she is on a date? I with hold my frustration and give him some leeway, as he probably hasn’t even reached puberty yet. “Okay great. An you sir?”

All can be forgiven, he’s addressed me by my master title, sir. Maybe I should correct him, to for the laughs. “Actually, it’s madam,” I say. The waiters face drops and he blushes. The young woman chuckles, and I get a leg up.

“Excuse me, madam.” So far so good, obedient waiter. “What would you like to order?” Oh dear the shame is built up, and I have to look at the menu, but cannot contain myself and splutter, laughing my ass off, she laughs again, and grabs my hand.

“Stop it,” she laughs. Her skin is smooth, her eyes magnetic blue. “What are you eating?”

I really was tempted to push it and order a portion of crisps, I didn’t have the mental energy now. “I’ll have the exact same, thank you.” The waiter takes the order and leaves without another word.

“So are you vegan then?” She smells of rose perfume and has that peaky, coloured tone in her cheeks. Do I confess my intimate details to a stranger? It wouldn’t go anywhere anyway.

“No, but I thought I’d try it.”

“You should be, it’s great.” Oh no, que the long animals abuse rant. I cut her off as she goes to speak.

“Do you want to know a fun fact about burgers?” She draws closer, smiling, her pearly whites glisten under the dim light.

“I’d love to.”

“Well,” I say, hesitating. “Burgers are sluts.” She pulls away, flushed. “They told me they like to be eaten out.” I expect her to laugh, but oh well, there she goes, from the table and out the door. I enjoy the moment and thank God I didn’t have to dump her.


Psychonaut

What say you, might psychonautus?

Choose to be a good person out of the reality that is your true nature, an intelligent and loving being created by God. ~ Wizard

I see that the man with all the pennies is now buying about twenty acres of land. I also noticed he had got rid of his old cat. That is a shame, but I suspect the cat was beginning to use his audio device to listen to the old man’s neighbours. That isn’t an unfounded allegation by the way, I saw that cat out in the streets, talking spy language with other cats. Anyway, there is the possibility the cat was sent to defector prison. What say you, you beautiful human? “Meow.” Okay fair enough, ciao. Cat chowder.

Night of The Living Deb: Movie Review 🧟

Night of The Living Deb!

Synopsis:

After a girls’ night out, endearingly awkward Deb wakes up in the apartment of the most attractive guy in Portland, Maine. Pretty boy Ryan only knows it was a mistake and ushers her out the door into a full-scale zombie apocalypse.

A horror | zombie | apocalypse | comedy | romance. Que Shaun of the Dead female counterpart.

Released | 2015

Run time | 1 hour 25 mins (movie is 1hr,20)

Starring | Maria Thayer & Michael Cassidy

IMDB | 5.5/10 & Rotten Tomatoes | 88%

I took a chance as I saw this movie available on Prime Video. I wanted to watch it before but never had the chance. Overall, a good funny movie with some classic zombie tropes and unexpected yet hilarious twists. This is a short review!

So not your typical movie, it has the girl going after the boy, the better looking and rich boy who has a model looking ex-fiancé. After a one night stand it is the man who disregards the woman, which is somewhat expected, but she is looking for more. They are forced together after discovering what they believe are zombies.

The pair survive and the movie has good acting and dialogue. I thought it was a cheap made movie until it started. Then I realised it was actually worth it. Whoever wrote it well done, perfect chemistry between main characters. Gets somehow funnier when they arrive at his fathers house. Typical zombie fighting. She is a reporter and wants to be a news anchor.

What sets this movie apart is the realistic relationship between the couple, which develops as the movie progresses. I found it quite heartwarming, despite the humour which I found consistent. I was going to give 4 stars but am giving more because of a twist. It turns out his father was responsible for unleashing a parasite on the water supply, which cannot be transmitted through bites. The fact the movie addressed this was excellent, finally a film which acknowledges how poor a bite is at passing parasites! Anyway it is only those who drink the water who are infected.

Highlight is the easy viewing and comedy, not being over the top, dialogue being top notch and acting great. One scene involving a woman in lingerie bouncing on the bed which was mistaken for sex noises did have me red in the face. Maybe I’ve grown out of that sort of humour, although I found the reaction of the bloke downstairs hilarious (tearing a sandwich apart as he wanted to ‘bang her’ again). It’s smart and witty and not too complicated. We get the happy ever after. Touched my heart on more than one occasion because I am a big softie. Do I recommend this? Yes, I do, if you like zombie, comedy, romance or horror, then consider it. I think of this like a more feminine version of zombie movies simply because of the focus on the woman.

Rating: 4.8/5

The Choices – Independence Automatica of Mind and Body

OVERVIEW OF THE IMAGE OF PERCEIVED CHOICE

Why do I feel bored in life? How many years do I have to put up with this? What can make things better?

Ugh! {You cry in perceived pain, turned out you enjoyed it}

The ugly yet satisfying truth lingering beneath a broken heart of pain and lust. A sword and shield that are laid down in a cupboard, forgotten and then later discovered and pawned off to contribute to your so-called retirement funds.

Integrity, lost through the childhood or adulthood depending on how desperate you actually are. Have you retained it through the years? Can you feel the honesty stripped away and now replaced with the art of bullshit? {bullshit = rhetoric}

“Oh no! I’ve reached 25 and I am an old woman and now I have no idea what to do because my delicate eye lashes, expensive Gucci or Prada handbags makes me poor. Mummy and daddy no longer give me £1000 a month spending money or have my boyfriend publicly shamed because he gave me pathetic bunch of lilies instead of 50 red roses at £200.”

“My anus needs bleaching!” Spoke by a man in a suit whilst driving his Ferrari to his office in which he sits for 8 hours doing less work than a nurse for £89,000 a year.

Then a footballer at £200,000 a month jumps in: “Hello I love playing with balls. It pays well.” The football disagrees.

Alas! Politician and local area MP for Surrey hops around on one foot whilst sticking his middle finger up at a picture of the Queen, all the while having his learned friends glorious shit thrown at him as part of his initiation into the party: Our mutual circle jerk club.

Wait, news headlines talk about a virus sweeping the globe causing the sniffles. Yet the East are obliged to send children to school in full nuclear suits. Don’t worry, you won’t hear them cry or complain. If they do, our automatic drones will charge through the streets chanting mindless propaganda restricting rights you never had to begin with. Children ushered into vans, where to?

I wrote zombie apocalypse stories, because that is my favourite genre. Now the world is becoming a zombie apocalypse. In those stories people still retain the right to treat their minds and bodies how they wish, providing they are alive and not a zombie. We live in a world though where choice is taken from us. We don’t see it until it is too late because of all the distractions. Are you distracted by media, internet, work, news, food or health?

CHOOSING AND BELIEVING ARE DIFFERENT THINGS

Health means many things. I suspect most people like to think that they are in good health and that is what they want: good health. That means making choices to support ones health. You might like to increase the amount of exercise you do, or eat a healthier diet. Do you really want those changes for yourself out of your own choosing, or have they been chosen for you? Diet and exercise are the two ingredients forced down our throats when it comes to reducing disease and illness and boosting wellbeing. Well I have news for you, it doesn’t work for a lot of people. They are told to keep at it, and that things will improve. No, if it doesn’t work then it won’t change no matter how long you keep at it. A personal experience:

‘A few years ago I ate vegetarian, ate 1 meal a day with a snack or two, and exercised moderately everyday for a few months. During that timeI dropped around 6 kg and was borderline underweight. I wasn’t eating anywhere near enough. Despite the weight loss, my body looked skeletal and I felt like my body was starving. My health actually deteriorated at well, causing me to get sick often. The funny thing is that I was not vegan, which meant I still had the benefits of certain animal products like eggs. I had some people tell me to eat more. I actually struggled to regain the weight even on a high calorie diet for several months. It took over a year not only to regain some weight, but to stabilise my health. I had discovered for the second time in my life that advice from so-called medical professionals and the government can be detrimental. I really was doing everything right, and actually was probably eating a good amount for my weight at the time.’

There are others with similar experiences, who wished they’d never started dieting and increased exercise because it has actually made things worse for them and some don’t think they will get back to normal. It can be dangerous! Take all of the advice from another person with salt, even what I am saying. People can and do follow healthy diets and exercise, I learned how to do it without the negative effects. I find that moderate exercise, especially exercise easy on the joints, like walking, biking and swimming and maybe some body exercise {pushup, situp, leg raise, planks etc.} at home to be the most beneficial.

https://www.express.co.uk/expressyourself/192600/Obsession-with-healthy-eating-ruined-my-life

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-381285/Exercise-ruined-life.html

When given a diagnoses by a doctor for example, we take that at face value. Now my experience with the health system is extensive and I know {sadly this is not bullshit} a lot more about my health than a doctor. I suspect you do too. Why? I live with my own flipping body and I know my mind and body better than an external person who cannot experience my life. You see, just because you have high blood pressure at an appointment that does not mean it is high all the time and definitely does not mean ‘medication’ immediately. Likewise, a scan which reveals some shading on your lung does not mean ‘antibiotics’ immediately. Nor does it mean cancer. You see you are so much better off without the health care system. So many ailments can be treated at home and without medication. Antibiotics are overused. From personal experience, don’t be afraid of leaving if you don’t feel comfortable or that you are being told dangerous information, such as needing treatment when you know you don’t. Over treating minor conditions is killing your body. Do not be forced to have medication for mental health problems either, even if you are convinced by a psychiatrist to take them. If you don’t want it, you don’t have to! Obviously if you need them and accept that and they help then great! But we live in over diagnosed and over prescribed antidepressant and anti-anxiety pill nation. The majority of people don’t need them.

Choosing what you need and believing what you are told are completely different things. Believing that a professional knows more than you can be detrimental. Use your underused initiative! How many ‘experts’ come onto TV {I don’t watch it anymore, haven’t done for years}, and start talking about the ‘scientific’ benefits of beauty products? Are you kidding me? HAHAHAHA COMPLETELY LAUGHABLE. You might as well get your anus bleached for all the scientific benefits. What about the dangerous trends of social media, like the ridiculous ice bucket challenge? Read my article on the dangers of social media here. Of course the stupidity was masked and pushed away as it was ‘for charity.’ Sure, how much money actually went to the cause? We live in a silent nation too afraid to speak out!

FEAR AND DESIRE ~ DRIVING US TO DELUSION

A critical driving force of the human race. So, you don’t choose, things are chosen for you, using the magic of advertising and social media and news. Your views are not your own and neither is your home or your car or even your pet dog. Do you know why? Do you care, or are you content to let the banks take control of your property at any minute? A private entity that controls public resources, like controlling the government. Big companies, pharmaceutical and other, controlling and dictating what the government makes into legislation and what it feeds us. Then the circle of bullshit – remember rhetoric = bullshit and vice versa – is initiated and continues until the public accept it, which does not take long, and then they feed the information themselves until it evolves to the point that the majority of things said at the beginning are forgotten and we don’t really understand it. The message or information source is usually lost and becomes part of things like ‘social norms’ {another joke}. People are then convinced that the lie is truth and sometimes the lie can drive them to believe that they have a right to something, or a desire to do something. Great examples are black lives matter – hiding beneath the surface until it garnered the media attention and decided that black people have the right to go around stealing, beating and attacking police and white people – because they are in the minority. What about feminism? Turned violent against men because certain women think that men can’t stop thinking about them or sex – grow up.

You usually outward when you cannot look inward. You spend money and shop and distract yourself with all these fantastic material things because of adverts and what other people told you. You are scared of who you really are, what is going to happen to you and what the world thinks of you. I have some news, this is fear. You fear not appearing proper if you don’t join the argument to get the vaccines, or the argument to support the popular view, which usually does not have any logic, and any use of logic will cause the other people to shout. They don’t shout answers or arguments, they usually shout because you make more sense then they will. They cannot accept that they are wrong. You don’t need others to tell you what you desire either. Do you really desire expensive perfume and clothes? Do you really desire to ‘fit in’ or to look like you aren’t poor or that you don’t belong to a certain group? This innate and delusional belief system is making people physically and mentally unwell. What about the idea that you can look and dress how you want? Well, it has been blown out of proportion.

People nowadays are all about being different and have created this culture of being different, which is itself so common that to be a part of it is more of a statement of ‘I am insecure and need attention’ but if you take that attention away, they gather in groups to stand out again and make themselves heard. Take a look at trans rights, forcing the idea that children should be allowed to pick a ‘gender.’ Let me clear something up, you are born a boy or a girl.

I recently asked what I perceived to be a girl {because her picture looked like one, and had a girl name} about her gender, do you know what she said when I asked is she was a woman? ‘I am non-binary.’ It also transpired that this ‘being’ was polyamorous. I had to look up what non-binary was. Why on earth could I not get a straight answer? You see, the lies and the fear has spread so far now and is so engrained that women are afraid to say they are women. She was clearly a female. Two genders okay, male or female. How does a woman have babies? People have now got to the point they are afraid of saying words like ‘vagina’ and ‘penis’ and would rather play mind games letting us figure out things like non-binary meanings. I am sorry to say this, but you cannot avoid your gender by simply stating non-binary. It is stupid to believe you can. This is nothing but delusion, the result of fear and desire. Afraid of the truth, desiring to be different.

Afraid of the truth, desiring to be different.

Wizard

CONCLUSION

Independence of mind and body are really important to having an improve life. But, reality dictates what we should believe and desire and teaches us things that are not true. Do they really want to eat fast food, to diet and exercise, to pay mortgages and drive expensive cars and go out drinking and socialising and being a part of that cult of personality? Does the man really want to be a woman and vice versa? Do your children want education or are they trauma bonded into a system to work… sorry, to slave away for the rest of their lives in the hope the master may throw a bone to them?

The lies that the government have told us, the belief system about an afterlife? Do you really want to waste your lives slaving away, being a part of this instead of doing what matters? Eat healthy, work a good job {rather than doing your passion} and make sure to not break the laws or hurt others and definitely do not question us. If you want the truth get initiated into the disgusting world of the occult. Sell your soul so you can feel shame and guilt all your lives because you think you have sacred knowledge. Live in delusion that you are better or that you are somehow different. You have no choice and you are not meant to cry and ask big questions. You are not supposed to think outside the ‘social norm and will be persecuted if you do. Love and hate are the same things because we love your slavery and hate you at the same time. We get off in secret masked sex parties, raping, torturing and beating women as sex slaves whilst convincing the public their money is being put to good use. We take drugs day and night because we know that none of it means anything. We don’t care about you, so shut up and eat your shit food.

Now do you get it?

The Best Quotes From Wizard!

The Wizard let me into his lair today and I briefly smelt what I believed to be brewing tea leaves but actually turned out to just be the smell of some lovely flowers he bought. Some yellow, some white and a few purple with many yet to bloom. He’s got the new vase on his window beside a lit tall white candle. He is fiddling with his new tourmaline tumble stone in his hands as he paces the room. Sunlight beams in and his great purple cloak is translucent, revealing the power beneath as a white shimmering glow. ‘I am honoured,’ I say, sitting in his brown leather armchair, helping myself to some crystalline water beside it in the most magnificent crystal jug.

He hasn’t given me permission to allow you to share, as he says his words are so powerful that only a few may actually read them. You are free to enjoy here, but insists that for safety they do not go any further, for risk of looking rather silly. You can also check out the post on soon to be famous quotes.


BEGIN

Just because I like flowers that does not make me a pansy!

Wizard

When I was a boy I had many wands. My favourite I always kept in my pants

Wizard

I once stood in a gay bar and told them all I am about to disappear with a poof.

Wizard

It is one of those days again, release the flying monkeys.

Wizard

Bring me a crystal, and a pipe.

Wizard

Ever wondered how they get the rabbit in the hat?

Wizard

Thanks for reading those selected quotes from the Wizard himself. I had a lovely tea with him and checked how his lilies were doing. They have started to bloom and are the loveliest of lilac, pink and purple in a combination. Closer to pink. I also had a look at his crystals and he said that he prefers to work with them at night, something about the moon. I cannot remember. Anyway have a lovely day!

A Fish Called Wanda: Movie Review

A fish called Wanda. Release date: 1988. Duration: 1h 48m. Director: John Cleese and Charles Crichton.

Summary:

A gang of British diamond thieves pull of a massive heist, and then try to double cross one another to find the loot. Barrister Archie Leach is responsible for representing heist leader Georges Thomason. Wanda tries to seduce Leach to learn the whereabouts of the diamonds.

Que: Probably one of the best British comedies from Monty Python John Cleese and Michael Palin. In my top 10 favourite films. A sequel “Fierce Creatures” was released in 1997 ( I will review soon ).

It is quintessential British comedy viewing. Full of fantastic actors and a fantastic storyline, coupled with genius wit and a genuine feel for the art of movie making.

To start I want to talk about the actual filming of the movie. It is clear and crisp and the audio is brilliant. The blu-ray version even more so. This is timeless in that it looks and feels like a modern movie, however there is little to give away the fact it is from the 80’s and it is gripping and entertaining enough not to focus on that!

A diamond heist masterminded and pulled of by Georges Thomason, Ken Pile, Otto and Wanda. Soon the diamonds go missing and it becomes a game of trying to double cross one another in order to find them! Ken is on a bet to assassinate an old lady who witnessed them escaping the crime scene. Otto the psychopath is just up to his eyes in crazy whilst passing himself off as Wanda’s brother. Wanda is busy trying to seduce Archie Leach, the barrister trying to defend Thomason from prison.

It is the chemistry of the actors that bring the film to a new level. All are brilliant but it is Otto (Kevin Kline) who brings things to a completely different dimension. In one of the funniest scenes in the film (out of many), Archie (Cleese) is becoming seduced by Wanda (Curtis) when Otto decides to break in to Leach’s house and hide behind a bedroom door, in order to stop Wanda from having sex with Leach. Soon Leach’s wife comes home with his daughter and then Wanda is hiding too. I won’t go on because you have to see it to believe it…

Ken is still trying to kill the old lady, and hilariously failing. Being an animal right activist, it adds another layer when he accidentally kills her beloved dogs instead. We can really feel the Monty Python humour shining through a during a few scenes the music score briefly plays the theme from the opening of The Meaning of Life.

Of course in the end, things start to get serious as the diamonds are found and who takes them is up to you to see for yourself by watching it!

A great film and a great tribute to British comedies. We don’t see films like this anymore which is a shame.

Rating: 5/5

Soon to be Famous Quotes ~

When I entered the White House for the first time, the first thing I said, I said, we need to get more black and minority colouring in this place. That’s what I said. ~ Ronald J Rump.

I can’t believe how many fish are in the ocean. ~ Dawud Ateaborrough.

We need to stick together, literally, in order to fight the darkness and find a vaccine for…can someone prompt me? ~ Doris Johnson.

If you have a dream, forget about it, I can’t remember half of mine. ~ Marting Kuther Ping.

We must eat all the cows, quickly, before my wife tells me off. ~ Gladimir Glutin.

Where did I leave my razor? ~ Norman Waites.

When man set foot on the moon for the first time I was amazed at how good the graphics were. ~ J F B

I need a large orange, some lipstick and a gun and I’m good. ~ Madd Pitt.

Don’t forget we are feeding ourselves with the peasants money, we need more. The poor don’t deserve it, we do. ~ The Woyal Wamily.

Sherlock Holmes – Movie Review

Spoilers.

An awesome movie, watchable multiple times, late at night, a feel good comedy, mystery and thriller.

Run time: 2 hours 8 mins.

Director: Guy Ritchie. Budget: $90million

26 December 2009.

7.6 on IMBD & 69% Rotten Tomatoes

Starring Robert Downey Junior as Sherlock Holmes and Jude Law as Watson. This modern film adaption and reboot was exactly what the series needed. Well acted, perfectly filmed, directed and plotted and led smoothly from this film to Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows.

Our protagonist Holmes (Robert Downey Junior, Iron man), with sidekick Watson (Jude Law, The Talented Mr Ripley) are first sighted together at the opening of the film and we are thrust into this occultish sacrifice in the opening scene with Lord Blackwood (Mark Strong, Kingsmen) apparently leading some sort of dark art murder.

It doesn’t take long for them to detain him but the mystery and the film really pick up when Holmes and Watson learn that Lord Blackwood has escaped from the grave, supposedly risen. They are drawn into the world of the Order, a secret society that condemns Lord Blackwood as evil and capable of great dark, black magic.

We are learning and seeing the characters develop during this time, and the parts are acted superbly. Holmes with his ingenious detective skills is soon luring Watson down a deep dark investigative path. The action, drama and thrills are tightly paced, and yet keep you longing for more. There is something extremely nostalgic and comforting about this movie.

The action accumulates when Lord Blackwood seemingly convinces the Order that he will reign dark days and death of the world. The murders that Holmes and Watson have been investigating have come to this. Holmes and Watson uncover the plot that will be Blackwoods final malicious act in Parliament.

The use of the dark symbolism during the movie is rather disturbing, but me, as many others, will recognise and understand that it is just a movie and provides a great film plot. Ultimately, as Holmes sees through Blackwoods lies, so do we, and the mysterious dark powers are not supernatural at all, but rather science and fear based.

The conclusion also leads very elegantly into the sequel, hinting at Professor Moriarty being the next antagonist and ending strongly.

A family movie, yet dark enough to keep new age movie fans happy. I rate this gem, which is one of the best movies ever made: Rating 5/5

The sequel Sherlock Holmes: A Game Of Shadows continues the tradition and humour, glorious film rendition of a classic. MUST SEE.