Burgers are Sluts

She sits opposite me in this leather booth. The restaurant is fairly busy, waiters and waitresses flock from table to table, taking orders, delivering drinks and food and gossiping about social media nonsense. I daren’t reveal to this brunette bombshell that I am vegan, after she took the leap to tell me on the way here. “I’m vegan,” she had said. I didn’t want to share my intimate life details or let her feel some connection, because honestly, the whole date was a big set up. I’d agreed to this after being paired with this lady by a friend. Yeah, she was okay, she chatted a lot about family and decided to tell me about her recently holiday with her ‘girlfriends.’ Not that I was bothered though.

But… the waiter came over and I knew there was no way for me to hide my diet preference, and that was all it was, a way to stay slim and healthy. I don’t care about animal activism. I’d rather let her do all the talking, but I have to throw in the occasional question to sound interested. “Been there before?” She’s forgotten her own holiday already, and she talked about it for like 20 minutes. The waiter hovers over our table, pen on his pad. After viewing the menu, seeing the little choice there was for vegans, I decided to brave it.

“Yeah loads of times,” she finally responds, blushing and batting her eyelids. Damn, this woman is really into me and we’ve known each other for about an hour or two. Essentially a blind date. I give her the silent credit, she is busty, slim and tall. Her wit is questionable, after telling me I look like Colin Farrell. I look nothing like him and was born in Brighton to a mother who worked in a factory and alcoholic father who beat me as a child after his drunken nights out. Maybe being a Colin lookalike was the career change I needed. She glances to the menu and looks to the waiter, he’s young, probably early twenties and for some reason looking down her bra. Kid, take the order and **** off.

“I’ll have the vegan burger,” she says.

“Fries or onion rings?” he asks, smiling. Little jerk is jerking me around, can he not see she is on a date? I with hold my frustration and give him some leeway, as he probably hasn’t even reached puberty yet. “Okay great. An you sir?”

All can be forgiven, he’s addressed me by my master title, sir. Maybe I should correct him, to for the laughs. “Actually, it’s madam,” I say. The waiters face drops and he blushes. The young woman chuckles, and I get a leg up.

“Excuse me, madam.” So far so good, obedient waiter. “What would you like to order?” Oh dear the shame is built up, and I have to look at the menu, but cannot contain myself and splutter, laughing my ass off, she laughs again, and grabs my hand.

“Stop it,” she laughs. Her skin is smooth, her eyes magnetic blue. “What are you eating?”

I really was tempted to push it and order a portion of crisps, I didn’t have the mental energy now. “I’ll have the exact same, thank you.” The waiter takes the order and leaves without another word.

“So are you vegan then?” She smells of rose perfume and has that peaky, coloured tone in her cheeks. Do I confess my intimate details to a stranger? It wouldn’t go anywhere anyway.

“No, but I thought I’d try it.”

“You should be, it’s great.” Oh no, que the long animals abuse rant. I cut her off as she goes to speak.

“Do you want to know a fun fact about burgers?” She draws closer, smiling, her pearly whites glisten under the dim light.

“I’d love to.”

“Well,” I say, hesitating. “Burgers are sluts.” She pulls away, flushed. “They told me they like to be eaten out.” I expect her to laugh, but oh well, there she goes, from the table and out the door. I enjoy the moment and thank God I didn’t have to dump her.


Existence

We all have our fears and desires. We all want something in life. Most people just want to be happy. I want to write, and I want to share it.

It isn’t strange to think we are here now, alive. But it is strange to think at one point things were different, and that nothing will be here one day. To think that it was here to begin with.

Slipping Through My Hands

Honing into a fletched clumbered path 

shown a mysterious moment in time

how confused was I

at the things waiting for me

being mine, confused again at this underlying, event

a sprocket loaded full of repent in your phone

do you feel like talking to my face

turning away as loss becomes frequent

slipped through my hands...

can be extremely painful

losing someone

even more so

when that somebody

just so happened, to be you.

No denial in the hands of the wolf

or your desire to lay with a hay stack

let me hold you one more time

once more dance to our shared lives

a life that is ready to accept

slipped through the cracks

had to turn back

found you lying still

loss of light from eyes

burning passion wipes away secret tears

where do you go?

bowed at the knight

Gabriel, "bless her with delight"

no more, slipped into the blight.


https://www.wattpad.com/story/307873965-discovery-avenue

Consider reading this poem, powerful words.

Typewriting & The Writer

I have decided to engage online remember? I used to own a typewriter and wrote a few stories on it. When I moved last year I did not bring it with me. Now, I want one again. I checked online, etsy and found that 1960s light blue Olympia for a couple hundred quid. Rather expensive. Unless it works flawlessly then you might be better using pen and paper or even just, you know, your laptop. Actually I just checked and cannot see it on the first page anymore. It was expensive compared to the others, but ironic is that my old typewriter was Olympia… stupid to not bring with me perhaps.

Writing for me has become a digital experience. I use a laptop. As for making time to write, I always try to write something everyday, including on this blog, which I thoroughly enjoy. Plus, it is in line with my own goals and writing ideals, namely to writer everyday and write to targets. You might like this post by Writers Digest about making time to write. It touches on the idea that you can productively ‘waste time’ by blogging. I suppose this is true, if you are an aspiring novelist then blogging won’t help that. I have seen authors on WordPress who can do both which is great. I am one of them.

If I ever go back to a typewriter though I know I will enjoy it too much. The downsides: no spellcheck, sometimes the formatting can get a little screwy, and no choice of text colour. I experience a red/black ribbon, and that was all. It was also quite noisy, which I suspect was due to age. There were sticking issues too. But they provide more creativity I believe, they allow creative expression to flourish as you are not distracted by the idea of opening ‘new tabs’ or watching porn or ordering online food. They are excellent, however, laptops have become the norm.

As a writer and one who does intend to publish further, I find the whole process incredibly rewarding. There will be times of procrastination and that is when you grab a bottle of red wine or perhaps a whiskey and cigar, pretending you are cool, knowing deep down you are the boss of your own destiny.

If you enjoyed reading, please like, comment, follow and reblog! Have a wonderful life!


I Have Feelings Too

The body is made from flesh and blood and bone

but my mind is a precious moment

feels everything and everyone

so when you call my name from the mountain tops

and I see your smile which makes my stomach drop

you have thought and love on your lips

soothing to the ears

metal that smacks the rocks

a word or a fleeting threat

destruction inner turmoil

yet, you don't consider

how they feel

You have conscious thought and choosing that for negativity or to hurt others is not kind. To choose to say something with the intention of causing distress, to bully, to intimidate or to demean, shouldn’t be encouraged. Even comments you consider to be fairly ‘okay’ can cause others upset. A lot of people don’t express that hurt and they just move on. But think about that. It isn’t a control mechanism, it is respect for others which most people learn through childhood. I don’t think there is a place for deliberate hurt in this world or the next. Community doesn’t rely on one person. So, when one person is the negative source of hurt, cut them off. It can be painful, but better separated from the cause than be a part of it through blind acceptance.

Don’t Be Afraid.

Welcome to Psychedelic Wizard. This is a welcoming environment where you can openly criticise and reflect without fear of persecution.

I’ve gained followers, and I’ve lost followers, which can be disheartening. It makes me wonder if I did something wrong, or if I over did my posting. I don’t intend to bombard you, rather, to post a sufficient amount of content that I like to post and which I enjoy making, and which can be reached by enough people to potentially create a bigger following. So, losing followers although sad is understandable, if the values are not in alignment anymore. What I mean by that is the people unfollowing are not feeling the site energy anymore or perhaps are fed up and not interested. I always appreciate on-going support and want you to know that. I am grateful for the audience on WordPress. Some of you have been liking, commenting and more for many years. I just hope that I have an audience in the future.

I do get disheartened when I see other blogs with thousands of followers, who probably got that in a lot less time than I even got to 500. I have tried to post consistent content for a few years now, but somehow my post counter doesn’t even seem to be close to what it should be. There are occasional glitches in WordPress sites, such as some appearing ‘unsafe’ or ‘virus ridden’ even though they are not. I suspect the content on the sites are a factor, and have been classified as dangerous because of that. I have struggled to access certain blogs from time to time because of this issue.

But it brings me happiness to see long-term bloggers who are still contributing and putting effort into their amazing blogs. I love to read them and explore new sites and topics. It always amazes me how little they expect in return. I won’t name anybody but I am so happy to be following a few blogs which have been motivational and inspirational for many years that I have been reading. You may know who you are!

My Wattpad story: https://www.wattpad.com/story/307873965-discovery-avenue


POEM called Don’t Be Afraid. It is about the uncertainty and doubt that can create issues in our lives. Ultimately, having the courage to move forward, to triumph over the unknown. My other post Into The Tunnels is also about that bravery, in different circumstances

I was a child who was afraid to look under the bed once
there were men who used to say the most harsh things to women
life was a bubble that we all wanted to burst
everyone had to quench the fear of their thirst
or their last breath that they gave
as the doors were crushed
halo of gold dust that fluttered beside me
seeing the way
and creating no barrier
a sea that is devoid of anger
replaced with content

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Have I Been Deceived?

Have I been born

into a world of rivers of blood

the sea that crashes against the waves

a long lost sought fraught ticking clock

that rests near your side

how painful has it been

 to continue to look inside

amidst the passing of nature

the growth and the rise of spring

dwindling of winters pale gusts

locked away in your safe box

waiting for the sound that the bells shall chime

at midnight

where lost souls gather with the flocking birds

that is not what I heard


It’s about more than death, this is one of the greatest songs on the album. The message of hope and strength, born from pain and suffering.